Weathering the Flare II

A few days ago I wrote Weathering the Flare, and I made an inadvertent omission. Somehow I forgot to mention the instant pick-me-up. One of the worst feelings when you are dealing with the flares your illness metes out is helplessness. When I don't feel useful, it's hard for me to relate to the world, to find my place in it. I know intellectually that I have value beyond my ability to give, but it drains my confidence and self-worth none the less when I cannot do it. A quick, almost effortless move can fix that. I turn on my laptop and navigate to The Hunger Site. In one minute I can click on all the contribution buttons (Hunger, Breast Cancer, Animal Rescue, Rain Forest, Literacy, Child Health) and sponsors will make small donations to each cause. Instantly I feel the satisfaction of having done my piece to save the world that day. The best thing is that my chronic poverty doesn't stop me from doing my part, either. I just have to pay attention for a minute.

Second in line, and requiring a bit more stamina, is to use my telephone to pick up someone else's spirits. I've noticed that fewer people are using their phones for encouragement and contact. The sound of a human voice is infinitely more comfortable than the buzz of your phone, followed by a two-line text message. Granted, you can text or email in the thick of your busy day when a call would be impossible, but many have convinced themselves that a call is never possible. We need to re-learn the art of the quick, "I'm just checking on you" phone call, and use it frequently. I know this approach requires a little more stamina than clicking on the Hunger Site button, but the extra effort brings a proportionate swell in my sense of having touched another human being and lifted their day. I try never to use this on annoying people who are a drag on my day; those individuals need only be dealt with when I have extra energy and the right frame of mind. Instead, I pick as my target someone who isn't expecting the call and won't abuse it.

It is important to me that my effort have tangible rewards. I don't spend a lot of time throwing prayers up for other people, since they always generate uncertainty of being heard or answered. That's just more stress. Instead, I go for the direct hit of sending cash via sponsors or sending good will by way of a phone call, and I can be sure of my result. Good ol' useful me, saving the world on a daily basis.

Peace.

Prednisone Blindside Response

I have been perplexed. The past few weeks I've noticed increased appetite and disrupted sleep. Increased appetite is an understatement. I've been ravenous. My usual lay down, close eyes, and fall asleep routine has been failing, and I awaken in the early morning, hungry and unable to return to sleep. I blamed it all on the extraordinary circumstances of my packing and moving, the excitement of house sale and new house. Tonight I it all came to a head. I was upset at my hungriness and the way it prevented sleep, and beginning to despair of having any improved health from my increased activity if all it meant was more appetite. As I bit into my low-cal, high-fiber, whole grain English muffin it hit me - my steroid dose is up. This is a sneaky steroid increase. I'm not taking a higher dose of prednisone. My oral dose remains at its baseline, not enough to cause these symptoms. However, almost three weeks ago I had a joint injection - a large dose of steroid (corticosteroid) medication was inserted directly into my left knee joint to treat an acute flare. We do this kind of treatment to put the medication directly where it is needed and to minimize the systemic affect of the meds, but a goodly portion is still absorbed into the bloodstream and disseminated to the rest of the body.

I am greatly relieved to realize the source of my symptoms. I've had such an increase in activity that I'm hoping to see better overall health. I thought it was being thwarted by my need to eat more, but now I know it is temporary. Moreover, having insomnia and being on an irregular schedule has never been good for my lupus. Keeping the wolf under control is much easier with adequate rest and a predictable meal, sleep and medication schedule. I should be close to getting over the steroid symptoms. One way I've been fighting them is to feed my appetite with huge amounts of plain steamed vegetables. My Publix had a $1 sale on microwavable vegetable packs, found in the produce section. I scooped up a pile and I indulge in them liberally. I also invested in several cases of my favorite sparkling water (yes, at $4 for 12 cans, it's an investment), and I fill up on bubbles.

A disease that has affected you for 17 years isn't going to be controlled or conquered overnight. I'm happy for every little insight that helps me manage better, even if it comes at 3 a.m.

Peace.